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Thailand Trek

Fri 3rd. Heathrow to Bangkok on Thai air was uneventful except for the drunk in front of me who insisted on talking/slurring throughout the flight. 2 hour wait before boarding flight to Chiang Mai. Arrive CM but nobody there to greet us; um and ah a bit then hail a taxi to the Lai Thai guesthouse. Not exactly the Ritz but we're only here for 2 nights prior to our trek. Unpack, decide what to take up the mountains then go for a stroll to explore the street life. Soon get thirsty and dip into a bar for a beer - can't find anything under 6% ABV so only have a couple. As we wobble out of the bar it dawns on us that we haven't eaten much so stop at the nearest moped/sidecar/kitchen for a meat-on-a-stick treat. Bump into a local who explains that today is the day of the annual flower parade so toddle back to the hotel to freshen up and consult the map. Can't seem to find the parade so went to look at the night market (after finding tomorrow night's restaurant). Had dinner ('Up-country' curry, seafood salad and noodles; V.hot and V.tasty). On the way back a wonderful smell wafts up my nose - seems to be coming from that moped/sidecar/kitchen thing over there... Turns out to be the Banana Roti man so we order one, slathered in honey, and devour it there and then. 10:00pm=bedtime.

Sat 4th. Awoken by almighty racket outside so tumble out of pit and go for breakfast (fresh fruit, youhurt, museli). Racket turns out to be the flower parade (yes the one we thought was last night) which passes directly in front of the hotel. There's floats and brass bands, dancing girls and elephants - girls cute so I give chase. Photo of flower parade The parade terminates at the park which is absolutely heaving with people - either selling or buying something. At lunchtime we checked out the fried insect stall but settle for something a little more traditional - fried rice/beansprout/noodle thing and Amanda had a kind of soup. I supplemented mine with meat-on-a-stick while Amanda had spinach fritters (I tried a dim sum dumpling filled with stuff - it was ok but I didn't want a whole one). On the way back to the hotel we pass through the old town (found our first choice hotel which looks much nicer than the Lai Thai). Hot and weary we stop at a bar for a beer. While minding my own business some old crone tried to sell me a finch from a basket - apparently you buy one then set it free. I told her that it just wasn't very British and she should get a job as a helicopter pilot. Suitably refreshed we go back to our room to freshen up and snooze before dinner. Looked for a cocktail bar on the way to the restaurant but failed (did find impromptu stage with 10 year old dancing girl and impossibly loud music though). Anyway, reach restaurant and have dinner which is all very nice but lacks something - we decide it's a bit pretentious and not worthy of the reviews. Left to find unrequited cocktails. We pass a few likely looking bars - even get propositioned by very attractive girl with a deep voice - until we come across a bar offering margaritas for 55 Baht (about 85p), can't pass this up so enter, order and sit near the pool table. Soon invited to play by Tom (local), have a thouroughly good time, had 2 more margaritas, even tried to check email on free internet workstation - failed. Tom tried to get us interested in his new business venture 'Speedminton' (high speed form of badminton). I'm a bit drunk by now and can't work out if he's serious (go on look it up - it's for real).

Sun 5th.After a good night's sleep we have breakfast and make a 5 day 'going hiking' pack, store the remainder of our luggage and at 12:30 a taxi takes us to the airport. Fly to Mae Hong Son on a 24 seat turboprop which takes 35 mins (enough time to be served a blob of cake and an orange squash). On landing we go straight through (no luggage) to find Chan our guide and his driver Boy who takes us the 15 minute ride to the hotel. The Golden Pai is a lovely hotel with tranquil, lush gardens and 2 pools - a far cry from Chiang Mai. Had a quick briefing with Chan over a beer and arranged a 6:30pm lift to town with Boy. In the meantime we had a club sandwich and tea by the pool and even had a quick dip. Boy duly turns up and we head into town - I think Boy is on an economy drive as he's always in 5th gear and never exceeds 40kph. We have a quick recce of the street market before finding a bar to have a pre dinner rum. Actually there are 2 versions of rum/lime cocktail which appear to have the same ingredients so we order one each. Started to rain (thunder & lightning) but by the time we had finished our drinks it had stopped so went to find dinner. The rain had forced the market to be abandoned but a hard core of food sellers remained and we wandered around picking up goodies to eat. Amanda had a custom made papaya salad and I opted for dim sum. I tried meat-on-a-stick which turned out to be spare ribs - well just the bone and gristle really so I tried again, this time it was ok. Then Amanda had a mushroom and kidney soup and I had a sausage-on-a-stick. Somehow managed to get a red hot chilli stuck to my sausage and started chewing (expletive deleted) Good grief! that was hot and nothing to cool it down with. Ambled back to find the duelling roti men and in the spirit of fairness had one from each vendor, these rounded our dinner off nicely. Boy arrives to take us back to the hotel where we have a nightcap (Daquiris) before retiring

Mon 6th. Afeter a rubbish night's sleep due to fighting cats and cockerels without watches we have breakfast then get picked up by Chan and the crew. 45 minutes later we stop halfway up the mountain for a scenic view (while dodging all the cow poo) before continuing to the drop off point. Amanda and I, Chan and 3 porters begin walking. The first 200 Metres or so are very steep and I'm out of breath and my head's throbbing - Amanda and I exchange a worried look but the trail eases off and we continue. After a couple of hours we break for a snack and discover that whenever you stop, honey bees turn up and want to investigate every nook and cranny - in and out of your toes, up your shorts etc. and although harmless if you leave them to it, you have to make sure they're all out when you start walking again. We come across some small conical dents in the path and Chan explains there's a Lion ant at the bottom waiting for something to fall in - he then digs one out and it looks like a small weevil with huge jaws. We tramp through the deciduous forest finding wierd spiders (some look like crabs) and hear (but can't see) some birds. Stop in a clearing for lunch of rice and chicken with a banana to finish. While there are visited by a small black wood wasp and a large yellow and black one Photo of wasp seen here on the handle of Chan's trusty machete. After lunch Chan shows us the fragrant Orchids that grow as parasites on lots of the trees and a flying lizard. The trail becomes narrow and steep and I nearly drop of the edge a couple of times. Past some limestone outcrops which house bat caves, through Bamboo forest and finally reach Chan's shack. As soon as we arrive they start a fire and get the kettle on. While it's boiling one porter sets about making our Bamboo teacups - hacking away with his machete, using his bare feet as a vice. Chan busies himself preparing dinner while we have nibbles with a pre-prandial rice whisky (out of Bamboo shot glasses, naturally). More whisky after dinner, then we turn in. I can't sleep and have to get up in the night - the next morning I feel quite unwell and throw up.

Tue 7th. Set off from Chan's shack for the Karen village - a day's march. I'm still feeling a bit delicate but soldier on. After an hour or so we stop and sit down on an uncomfortable Bamboo pole and have a drink of lovely fresh orange juice. Ten minutes later I throw it up - Amanda assures me it looked like the Exorcist - only orange. I feel weak and pathetic and don't take in much of the wildlife we saw. After lots of downhill walking/stumbling we looked back up the mountain we were up earlier and stopped in a shady glade for lunch (mushroom fried rice, which Amanda enjoyed, but I didn't fancy). Then off again, down to the stream which we crossed a few times before starting to climb again. Find a hut with a box of puppies on the porch and a herd of Buffalo underneath - the owner seems to know Chan and the boys and have a brief chat. Stopped at a creek to look at the snakeshead fish then the terrain opened up into fields which are obviously for rice. Further on we cross the stream where hundreds of butterflies sit in the mud Photo of butterflies and a manmade path appears which we follow to the Karen tribe's village. It's early evening now and I just want to keel over and die but Amanda forces me to stay up and eat some plain rice. Go to bed - must have slept a bit but even the homemade earplugs can't cope with the roosters or the ceremonial chanting and general drunkenness of the all night party.

Wed 8th. This morning I feel a bit better, drink lots of sweet tea and have some fresh fruit for breakfast. Spend an hour birdwatching from our balcony Photo of twitchers and see all manner of things such as Sunbirds, Warblers and the amazing Scarlet Minivet which has to be seen to be believed Photo of minivet - this photo, enlarged greatly, doesn't do it justice - just proves that we saw it. On one of the trees behind the cabin, Chan finds us a couple of stick insects. Then we set off along the trail on our last day of hiking. On the way down to the river we see Chipmunks, a solitary Shrike way off in the distance, an amazing spider with really fearsome curved appendages, Green billed Malkoha and a hawk. Across the valley a tall Kapok tree houses loads of birds but is too far away to see properly. We follow the river (occasionally getting our feet wet) and see all sorts of interesting stuff including a troupe of small monkeys and some more Chipmunks. I find what I thought was a snake which turned out to be a large sleeping lizard all curled up under a rock. See loads more different butterflies and some Damselflies and at lunchtime, stop by the river for noodles and fruit. As we set off again I felt a sharp pain on my shoulder under my rucksack strap so whip off my shirt. One of those pesky honey bees had stung me but fortunately Chan deftly removed the stinger and it's attatched poison sac - a touch of Anthisan and I was right as rain. We continue past the chaps sawing timber (Teak) by hand using a pit saw and leave the national park. Still following the river we reach an area of cultivated land which leads up to Chan's house and gardens. We have a bite of fruit then explore the gardens. Chan tries to tease out a Tarantula but it's the middle of the day and they prefer the cooler times. We did see a very large female spider though, with a tiny (in comparison) male. The porters make their excuses and leave, Chan escorts us to the road where Boy is waiting to take us to our next hotel, The Fern Resort. Here we freshen up (after wresting water from the shower) and enjoy a welcome G&T and gin fizz before dinner. We order too much but very tasty. It's cooler down here in the valley and can't wait to jump into our real bed to get warm.

Thur 9th. Leave the Fern resort and Chan and Boy pick us up and drop us at the river where a wizened old man kicks a few Bamboo canes lashed together into the river and invites us to board. It's actually quite stable! Photo of bamboo raft We float with the current and have a very peaceful hour or so birdwatching along the river (only marred by the occasional motor boats - long narrow boats with 4 cylinder in line car engines and long propshafts). In the quiet moments we see various Kingfishers, brightly coloured Rollers, Bulbuls, Egrets, some kind of bird of prey and some Bee-eaters - even a pied wagtail. All along the river locals are extracting and grading (by hand) aggregate for construction. Every now and then we have to negotiate some rapids - well ripples really but it's only a Bamboo raft... Chan and Boy meet us at the other end and in the truck we consult the bird guide from which we work out that we also saw some Raquet tailed Drongos. Boy pulls in to a car park where we meet our Elephant. We feed it sugar cane and a bunch of Bananas before climbing on and crossing the river. Photo of elephant Quite a nice trail but the only interesting stuff was a load of Woodpeckers, a Hawk and some more Rollers. The elephant decided to rip up a Banana tree and eat it en route - It was pretty uncomfortable and a bit touristy, I'm glad we did it but don't need to do it ever again. Chan took us to a nice restaurant for lunch with a pond of Koi carp. We have the house speciality of baked fish (not Carp), curries and rice. In the trees around we see Bulbuls and a pair of beautiful Scarlet Flowerpeckers. Still have time after lunch to drive up to the Buddist temple which overlooks Mae Hong Son, from here we can see the whole town and in the background the mountains we trekked up. Amanda loses Chan's tip which we only discover when he bids us farewell at the airport. Fly back to Chiang Mai and the hotel forget to pick us up again so get a cab back to the Lai Thai. After a shower we go shopping for medicines and batteries and are lucky enough to fine a replacement bulb for one of the underwater torches. Back to the margarita bar to check e-mail (it works this time) before finding a very nice restaurant for dinner (no spring rolls though). Afterwards, decide to go shopping for a watch - see a few crappy ones (quite a nice Oris replica which is too expensive) and settle for a swiss automatic for 1000 Baht. Amanda bought some earrings and we went back to the hotel to pack and sleep.